Dear Madeleine, My problem is that my people—not all of them, but enough—are extremely needy. They come to talk to me and they take up hours of my time. They talk about their kids, their lives, and their problems and seem to expect that I’m fine with listening to all of this. I’m not. I…
When you are a coach who works with leaders from all walks of life, you begin to notice patterns. One pattern I’ve noticed is that about one-third of the leaders I work with consider connecting and building relationships a part of their job, while the other two-thirds do not. This second group of leaders generally…
Everyone experiences emotions—happy, sad, angry, afraid, ashamed, etc. Emotions can move you forward or hold you back. Your reactions to others’ emotions can positively enhance a relationship or partnership, or negatively detract from it. People with high emotional intelligence are able to recognize emotions that surface within themselves and others. Emotional intelligence, also known as…
Think about a leader you admire. Maybe it is the CEO of your company, the principal of your local high school, or the president of your alma mater. If I asked you about the specific qualities that made them successful, you’d probably tell me about their hard skills—teachable abilities such as vision and strategic thinking.…
Dear Madeleine, Can you clear something up for me? I have been told by a former coach and others that I need to be more “authentic.” But I have also just received feedback in a performance review that I am too brusque, condescending, and cold. And if one more person tells me they are intimidated…
Dear Madeleine, I have been part of a large team of great people for a few years. About a year ago we got a new boss. He is a few years older than me and very smart and creative. We had an immediate connection because we went to the same school for undergraduate and are…
Dear Madeleine, I am worried about my boss. He has always been super bright, ahead of everyone else, with a mind like a steel trap. He has been an amazing boss and a real mentor for me; I have a lot of respect and affection for him. Lately he has been forgetting critical things, like…
Dear Madeleine, I am a fairly experienced manager, but I have reached my limit with one of my people—let’s call her Sam. She is extremely competent and up until about a year ago she was very reliable. Since then, it seems as if it has been one crisis after another. First, one of her kids…
Dear Madeleine, I am a senior director for a large multinational organization. I am good at what I do, my employees love working for me, and I’ve always received good feedback from my boss. At my last review, though, I didn’t get the promotion to VP that I expected. My boss told me she didn’t think…
Dear Madeleine, As you’ve probably noticed, the political situation in the US has gotten completely out of hand, with presidential candidates running amok. I don’t know what your political opinions are, but I am hoping you can help me with my untenable situation. Both my boss and one of my direct reports are super, emphatically,…