Ron Darling, a stellar pitcher with the New York Mets in the 1980s, was going through a brutal divorce. He struggled through spring training and the start of the season. His emotional turmoil hurt his game. Davey Johnson, the team’s roughneck manager, noticed Darling’s struggles and reportedly said to him, “I went through a rough…
Dear Madeleine, I am the operations manager for a large veterinary hospital. It is a fast-moving, extremely busy environment, especially our 24/7 ER. I essentially manage all personnel because the doctors don’t have the time or the inclination. We have one employee who is a challenge for me. She is a trained vet tech who…
I had an upsetting experience yesterday. Amid our current environment of chaos, confusion, and uncertainty, I find that people are generally behaving pretty well. I’ve noticed this at the grocery store, which I now visit only about once every ten days. Social distancing is in effect, with dots or X’s every six feet marking where…
Dear Madeleine, I have been a manager for many years. I came up through the ranks and have been steadily promoted because of my technical and analytical skills—also, because I am almost always right. I try not to be a jerk about it, but it is the truth. I recently had a performance review with…
Dear Madeleine, I am a subject matter expert in an engineering company and, well, a technical genius. I am aware it isn’t politically correct to put it that way, but it is the truth—I have an unusually high IQ and people who come to me for help literally call me “The Genius.” Our whole team…
Dear Madeleine, I have a good relationship with my boss. We communicate well and I admire him a lot. Over the last two years, he’s the one who has helped me learn the job and tackle problems. This great connection has caused all kinds of issues I hadn’t anticipated, however. My coworkers seem to think…
Dear Madeleine, My problem is that my people—not all of them, but enough—are extremely needy. They come to talk to me and they take up hours of my time. They talk about their kids, their lives, and their problems and seem to expect that I’m fine with listening to all of this. I’m not. I…
When you are a coach who works with leaders from all walks of life, you begin to notice patterns. One pattern I’ve noticed is that about one-third of the leaders I work with consider connecting and building relationships a part of their job, while the other two-thirds do not. This second group of leaders generally…
Everyone experiences emotions—happy, sad, angry, afraid, ashamed, etc. Emotions can move you forward or hold you back. Your reactions to others’ emotions can positively enhance a relationship or partnership, or negatively detract from it. People with high emotional intelligence are able to recognize emotions that surface within themselves and others. Emotional intelligence, also known as…
Think about a leader you admire. Maybe it is the CEO of your company, the principal of your local high school, or the president of your alma mater. If I asked you about the specific qualities that made them successful, you’d probably tell me about their hard skills—teachable abilities such as vision and strategic thinking.…