3 Steps to Becoming the Person You Desire to Be

Making Progress in Your Career“Growth is not steady, forward, upward progression. It is instead a switchback trail; three steps forward, two back, one around the bushes, and a few simply standing, before another forward leap.”

–Dorothy Corkville Briggs

Becoming the person we want to be is a gradual process. We learn and grow line upon line. Here is a three-step process that can help you on your journey to become the person you desire to be.

Step 1: Have a clear vision of who you want to become

The process starts by having a clear picture of who we want to be. Each of us has been given a script to play based on a combination of our genetics (what we inherited) the way we were raised, and our current environment. We can either live out those scripts, or we can choose to write and act out our own new script. (See last month’s post for a process on writing out a new script for your life.) Whose script are you acting out?

Step 2: Start each week with reflection and planning

Before the week begins, sit down and review each role in your life. For each and every role, reread your aspirational statement. (See last month’s post for more on this.)  Now ask yourself the following questions:

  • Are you closer to becoming the person you want to become in that role?
  • What went well last week?
  • What would you like to do better this week?
  • What is the most important thing you can do this week to become the person you desire to be?

The answer to the last question can be a specific action such as taking a loved one to dinner, or it might be an area to focus on such as, “listen better.”

Step 3: Forgive ourselves when we are not perfect

I love the wisdom of Mr. Rogers. He once said:

“Some days, dong the ‘best we can’ may still fall short of what we would like to be able to do, but life isn’t perfect – on any front – and doing what we can with what we have is the most we should expect of ourselves or anyone else.”

~Fred Rogers

Remember that this is a journey. There will be moments when you fall short of your goal. When you do, remember to forgive yourself and recognize the progress you have made over time. Are you closer today than you were last year to being the father or mother, husband or wife, manager or employee, you want to become? If you can answer, “YES” to that question, you are on the right path.

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts and/or questions.

About the author

John Hester is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies who specializes in performance, productivity, and self-leadership.

8 thoughts on “3 Steps to Becoming the Person You Desire to Be

  1. I would only add that along the way to becoming the person you desire to be – there are two underlying qualities that will ensure success:
    1. Persistence – A ‘stick-with-it’ attitude is a sign of strength and often ensures long term success.
    2. Loyalty – Being positive and loyal to others builds character and you become an authentic person.

  2. Couldn’t agree more with the points identified, especially point 3. One of my big errors is to ‘beat myself up’ when things don’t go as planned and I’m learning to let go, which is making me a lot happier!

  3. I feel persistence and positive attitude is the key here as to change, it requires a lot of time and patience in which nowadays not many people have this quality in them.

  4. Pingback: The Friday Roundup – show and tell, be who you want to be, hope, doing what you love and vision blindness

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