He was found by all Human Resource accounts to be
An individual contributor against whom had no official complaint,
And all the annual reviews on his performance agree
That, in the new millennial sense of a classic word, he was an
For in all of his daily tasks he did serve the greater good of the organization.
Except for one Sabbatical till the day he retired He worked at his desktop and never got fired,
But satisfied his many managers at Grey Consulting Inc.
Yet he wasn’t offensive or strange in his worldview,
For his mature colleagues report that he had paid his dues,
(His HR file also shows this service was satisfactory and sound)
And the outsourced Positive Therapists too had found
That he was respected by his peers and liked to sip the news
Social Media is convinced that he engaged CNN’s blog every day
And that his algorithms regarding advertisements were typical in every way.
Insurance records under his name prove that he was fully insured,
His health card showed it had been swiped once in the ER, and that he left completely cured.
All of Nielsen’s numbers and Gallup results do declare
He had taken full advantage of his 401k-employee match plan,
And had everything necessary for a 21st century man,
Laptops, SMART phone, wireless signals running through his living room air.
Our investigation into Eco Footprints demonstrate a spirit of circumvent
That he maintained the proper green omissions based on the time of year;
When there was no conflict, he was not conflicted; when there was tension, he was proportionately tense.
He had married and added two and a half children to population,
Which all NBC Social Political polls indicate was the right number for a parent of his generation.
And a few witnesses observed that he never influenced or manipulated their
Was he free? Was he happy? The questions are rediculous and absurd:
Had anything been wrong, in this connected world, we surely would have heard!
A Parody of WH Auden’s, The Unknown Citizen
Jason Diamond Arnold is a Leadership Consultant and Learning Media Specialist at The Ken Blanchard Companies. He is coauthor of Situational Self Leadership in Action, a self-paced learning course about personal excellence and effective collaboration.