What I’ve learned and what has helped me throughout -my 25 years of talking_…
Tips and Tricks to help you have a more open approach to communication between your boss, friends, Co-workers, and intimate relationships.
Common Language: Having a common language is the first step that will aid in keeping the flow of a conversation alive. By positioning a common ground before you embark on openly expressing your thoughts (especially my ladies) make sure you and the other person are speaking the same language. It could be English, Spanish, Ebonics, American Sign Language, your love language, emoticons, body language, or any other way you are on the same wave length.
Openness: The ability to be open and frank in a conversation is a good indication that you’re in tune with yourself. Self Love, baby, that is what it’s all about. Get to know yourself and love your flaws, gap tooth, big hair, potty mouth, stuborned attitude and embrace it. When you love yourself and know yourself you are more willing to open up in conversations and not hold anything back.
Motivated: Wanting to talk and share information from one person to another is linked to motivation. You have to be motivated in what you’re going to say in order to establish great flowing conversations. Think about it, if you want to talk to someone and have some sort of dialogue between the both of you…have something to say. Dead air is no way to help a re-establish a healthy conversation.
Motive: What are your intentions with the person you’re talking too? Do you want to ask them out? Chew them out? Chit-chat? Ask a question? Be specific in your motives when approaching a conversation with anyone.
Unique: What is your unique way of communicating with the person you are talking to? Have you been friends for 10 years and don’t have to say anything on the phone to know that the other person is listening? What about the friend who calls you to have you listen to a song to see if it was the same song you heard over the weekend? Whatever your own unique style is, flaunt it.
Now: Communicating with another person is in the “now”. Remember this when you are talking to someone, what you say to them “now” effects the outcomes of the “their” future.
It is not always about you: Take the “I” out of the conversation when talking to another person until you either have to A. Ask for what you need, B. Share your feelings around a certain topic or C. Are asked to express your thoughts or emotions openly to the other person.
Caution: Be careful how you say things, word things, explain things, express things, and watch the tone of the statements.
Action: Action speaks louder than words. If you say you’re going to call someone, just do it!
Take the time: When engaging in a conversation with someone, take the time to listen to the other person. Listen with your ears not your mouth.
Initiate: It’s always ok to initiate a conversation with someone, whether it is your boss, an old friend, or a co-worker you have never spoken to before. Smile, say hello, ask them how they are doing, crack a joke.
One: One Last thing…When wrapping up a conversation, make sure you are fully aware of what you just spoke about. Make sure you have asked questions, made suggestions, came to a conclusion, and understood the conversation fully.
Next: Next time you have a conversation with someone, use the tips above. These could help you shift your behavior and help you adapt to a whole new outlook of communicating.
Communicating doesn’t always have to be that hard…
P.S Talk to the Hand