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Four Reasons to Use the “F” Word at Work
In most workplaces the “F” word is taboo. There are some words you just don’t say out loud and the “F” word tops the list. Leaders, in particular, are afraid to even think about the “F” word, much less say it in public. Experienced leaders have learned that mentioning the “F” word is like opening Pandora’s Box. You flip the lid on that bad boy and you’re in for a world of hurt. Some things, including the “F” word, are just better left unsaid.
I think that needs to change. Leaders need to use the “F” word more. Much more.
I used to be afraid of the “F” word until I learned better. Now I find myself using the “F” word whenever I get the chance. Here are four reasons why it’s important for leaders to use the “F” word – feelings – in the workplace (you didn’t really think I was talking about that “F” word, did you?!):
1. It recognizes reality – People don’t check their feelings and emotions at the office door. Every one of your employees is a walking, talking, bundle of thoughts and emotions that affect the way they “show up” at work. Even though every manager in the world wishes that people kept their personal lives at home and didn’t bring their issues to work, that’s just not realistic. Everybody, including you and me, have issues in our lives that affect our work performance. Maybe it’s a sick child, an ailing parent, marital problems, financial pressures, <insert challenge here>, you name it – we all have ups and downs in life. Effective leaders have learned to be emotionally intelligent and understand the need to manage the whole person, not just the faceless/mindless “worker” that shows up to do a job.
2. It builds trust – There is no more important leadership competency than building high-trust relationships. There is very little chance for success in the leader/follower relationship without a solid foundation of trust. One of the core elements of a trustworthy relationship is “connectedness.” People trust you when they know you care about them as individuals and not just workers being paid to do a job. Acknowledging emotions, maintaining open communication, and recognizing/rewarding people for their accomplishments are key behaviors in building trust. You can’t build trust without using the “F” word.
3. It fosters engagement – Research has shown there are 12 primary factors in creating passionate employees at work. By “passionate” I mean engaged employees that are willing to be good corporate citizens, perform at high levels, and devote their discretionary energy to accomplishing their goals and those of the organization. Two of those 12 factors are relationship-focused: connectedness with leader and connectedness with colleagues. Like the theme song from the old TV sitcom “Cheers” says, “You want to go where everybody knows your name.” People need rewarding interpersonal relationships with their coworkers to be fully engaged on the job. Employees also want and need a supportive and personal relationship with their boss. Of course this varies by personality types and other factors, but everyone wants to have a positive and productive relationship with their leader. You have to talk about feelings if you want to have engaged employees.
4. It helps manage stress – People need an appropriate emotional outlet at work to share their concerns and frustrations. There needs to be a “safe zone” where people can voice their feelings without fear of recrimination, and in order for this to be possible, there has to be a high level of trust. Admittedly this can be scary. If there aren’t proper boundaries in place, venting can quickly turn into gossiping, whining, complaining, and general negativity. That’s why I think it’s important for leaders to take charge on this issue and create a culture where their people feel safe in coming to them to share these concerns. People are going to vent about their frustrations whether the leader chooses to be involved or not. Why not be purposeful about creating a system, process, or structure to positively channel these feelings? (Oops, there I go…using the “F” word again.)
The world at work has changed dramatically over the last 25 years. The “F” word used to be off-limits. Everyone understood that a person showed up for work, punched the clock, did their job, punched out, and went home. There was no namby-pamby talk about feelings, engagement, well-being, or happiness at work. You want to be fulfilled? Get a hobby outside of work. That will fulfill you.
Nowadays there is much less separation between a person’s personal life and work life. Technology has blurred the boundaries between those areas and it’s created new dynamics in the workplace to which leaders have to adapt. Whether you like it or not, leaders have to know how to deal with feelings in the workplace. Get used to it, you’re going to have start using the “F” word more. Much more.
Randy Conley is the Trust Practice Leader at The Ken Blanchard Companies and his LeaderChat posts appear the last Thursday of every month. For more insights on trust and leadership, visit Randy at his Leading with Trust blog or follow him on Twitter @RandyConley.
Redirection Redefined – 5 Steps to Stay on Track
For many, the word redirection translates to, “Uh oh—big trouble.” For some, the idea of a redirection can seem the equivalent of a dismissal, separation, or firing.
That’s a limiting perception. The job of managing people includes managing roles, goals, and day-to-day performance. Redirection is a part of that process.
In some ways it’s like flying airplanes where flight plans are set and frequent corrections in the air keep the airplane on course. The goal is a smooth flight that will arrive at the desired destination safely. But a surprise bout of turbulence may force the plane to change altitude to find smoother air space.
The same is true in the workplace. We all hope for a smooth ride in the course of achieving our goals but people sometimes experience turbulence and need “in-flight” corrections, too. This type of correction is what I call redirection.
A Closer Look at Redirection
A redirection is used for learners in a “can’t do” situation, not in a “won’t do” situation. With constantly evolving priorities, technology, and demands, many a worker is learning something new every day. Add in unclear vision, goals, or roles, and a worker can fall behind or make mistakes.
How should a new manager approach a person who needs redirection? Ken Blanchard shares a five-step process in his bestselling book, Whale Done! The Power of Positive Relationships.
Here are Ken’s five steps for redirection:
- Describe the error objectively, without blame and without drama. Example: “Your report was two hours late.” No eye-rolling, desk-pounding, or sarcasm. Just the facts.
- Describe the negative impact of the error. Example: “As a result, I had to cancel an important meeting because I did not have the data I needed in time.” Again, no emotion. Just the facts.
- If appropriate, take the blame for not being clear. Example: “I was giving you a lot of direction about several projects at once. Perhaps I wasn’t clear about the absolute deadline for your report.” This is an important step and can be a powerful, face-saving, loyalty-building action to take. It’s entirely possible that a new manager was not clear or specific enough.
- Go over the task or goal again. Example: “To be sure that I am clear this time, let me review with you what I need and when I must have it. I need….” It’s important to give very specific information and also to get agreement that what you are asking for is possible.
- Express continued trust and reaffirm your belief in the person’s abilities. Example: “Now that we have talked about this, I’m sure we’ll have no problem next time.” People need to know that an error will not permanently taint them.
It’s normal to occasionally get off course—especially when you are learning a new skill or taking on new goals and projects. Redirection is a natural part of the process even though it can be uncomfortable at times. As Winston Churchill said, “I am always ready to learn, but I do not always like being taught.” When a correction is required, this 5-step redirection can get things back on track.
About the author:
Cathy Huett is Director, Professional Services at The Ken Blanchard Companies. This is the third in a series of posts specifically geared toward new and emerging leaders.
Doing More With Less – Nuggets of Truth from Leadership Livecast
Nearly 5,000 people joined dozens of leadership experts yesterday for the Doing <Still> More With Less Leadership Livecast. Over the course of 2 ½ hours there were video presentations and online discussions about strategies to deal with today’s stressed, overworked, and overextended workplace.
The Doing More With Less challenge was explored from several angles. Several speakers encouraged us to stop and think about our work before rushing headlong into the fray while others reminded us of the power we have to redefine our view of what doing more with less really means. Tips on preventing burnout, time management, communication, and employee relations were offered as well.
Here’s just a few of the thoughts that stood out to me:
- Busyness doesn’t equal productivity. Take time to think and plan. (Mark Sanborn on the importance of taking time to think, focus, and learn)
- You have a finite amount of time and energy. Prioritize what you want to do and relentlessly focus on high value work. (Mike Alpert on disciplined planning spells success)
- Work-life balance assumes one suffers at the expense of the other. We need to integrate the two and find ways that one supports the other. (Fons Trompenaars on integrate, don’t balance)
- Don’t suffer from “brain lard” – wasting your mental energy by focusing on unimportant stuff. (Dick Ruhe)
- Get the right people with the right motivation in the right place with the right tools. (Jack – 13 year old student)
- Your work isn’t just a job. Your work is a series of promises you make. (Susan Mazza on delegating less and negotiating more)
- Leaders need to focus on providing daily inspiration, breeding accountability instead of blame, and balancing self-confidence with humility. (Kate Nasser on being a buoy of inspiration and balance)
- Don’t let what gets your attention drive your focus. Focus on what needs your attention. (Tanveer Nasseer on the power of focus)
- Lean times require a lean approach. Work less and focus on the most important and highest ROI tasks. (Jason Diamond Arnold on the lean approach to working)
- Shift your mentality from “I have to do this” to “I get to do this.” (Margie Blanchard on I have to versus I get to)
I shared that leaders need to eliminate the phrase “do more with less” from our vocabularies. It erodes trust whenever we tell our people they have to do more with less. They feel like we “just don’t get it.” Instead, we need to communicate the reality of our business situation with our team, solicit their involvement in creating strategies to deal with the challenges we’re facing, and dial-up the amount and type of support we offer our folks.
Did you attend the Doing <Still> More With Less Leadership Livecast? If so, what were the nuggets of trust you discovered? If you happened to miss it, you can purchase access to the recording and/or program notes here.
Randy Conley is the Trust Practice Leader at The Ken Blanchard Companies and his LeaderChat posts appear the last Thursday of every month. For more insights on trust and leadership, visit Randy at his Leading with Trust blog or follow him on Twitter @RandyConley.
Two Ways to Consider A New Manager Role
Stepping up from successful individual contributor to new manager creates a conundrum: Is it about you and proving yourself in your new role, or is it about them—the team—your direct reports?
The quick answer is: It’s about both you and your team. There are two ways to look at your new role.
First, it’s about you. It’s about you in terms of your ability to show the way, provide hope, stay optimistic, and be a positive role model. It’s about your willingness to listen well to your people and hear their concerns and new ideas. It’s about you having the courage to say what needs to be said—to your people, your peers or your boss—on behalf of your team. It’s about you using your corporate machete to create career paths for your people through your company’s jungle. It’s about teaching and explaining (again) and supporting and encouraging (always). It’s about noticing the true condition of your most valuable corporate resource—the people under your care.
Second, it’s about them. Are your people’s roles and goals clear? Do they have a voice and a forum with you to express themselves? Your direct reports are ambitious. They want to know they can trust you with their careers and that you have their best interests at heart. They want to know their time with you is well spent. They want to know the vision and the plan. They want to learn and grow. It’s about them and whether they stay—stay working for your company, stay with you in your department, stay loyal, stay engaged, stay positive, stay current, and stay successful.
No one says becoming a good manager is easy. But it’s not so tricky if you believe at your core that your job is to help others succeed and that, by so doing, you too will succeed. Ken Blanchard asks this question to those who aspire to leadership: “Are you here to serve or to be served?” Your response to Ken’s question will set the tone for your new management career.
For new managers, there are many ways to leave a positive mark. Look at what your people need from you and look inside yourself for ways to meet their needs. Ironically, meeting their needs will, in turn, meet your needs as a new manager.
About the author:
Cathy Huett is Director, Professional Services at The Ken Blanchard Companies. This is the second in a series of posts specifically geared toward new and emerging leaders.
Step Up As You Move Up: 3 tips for new managers
“Now the buck stops with me. Now I am the final decision maker. Now I am the person I used to go to for help!” Gulp.
A young woman shared these words with me one week after being promoted to her first management position. I could see the look of controlled fear in her eyes, along with a fragile confidence. It’s a big step to move from supervisor to manager. The reality waits to sink in until after the initial joy, pride, and congratulations have had their due.
Perhaps the “gulp” is inevitable—but there are a few things aspiring and new managers can do to manage the move up.
1. Practice Before the Promotion
Savvy people identify their next position long before it is available. Like chess, it is important to think a few steps ahead. Where could my current position lead? What are the strategic plans of the company? Where will expansion likely happen? What skills do I need to be seriously considered for the next role I want?
Once the next role is identified, it’s time to act and behave as if you already have that role.
I received a great piece of corporate-world advice when I was in my 20s: If you want to be a vice president, think, act, and dress like a vice president. Act the future part, look the part, build the skills, take some risks, flex your thinking muscles. See how much you can lift.
2. Pause, Think, React
New managers can feel overwhelmed by the issues facing them and new expectations placed on them. A common mistake is to take action before thinking. New managers may fear what others will think, that their authority will be questioned, or that they may appear tentative or weak. It takes self control and maturity to pause and gather enough data to make informed, unemotional decisions. New managers who gather the facts, listen to others’ points of view, etc., before taking action will in the long run be considered wiser leaders. Expeditious and measured is better than quick and sloppy when it comes to ticklish issues. Who wants to follow—or promote—a leader who reacts prematurely with limited information? Strive to be wise.
3. Find Help
Along with the fancy new title and office come more complicated issues and projects. Smart new managers admit the need for help, guidance, mentoring, and information. Mentors can be found inside and outside the organization. Identify others who have been successful and tell them honestly what you don’t know or aren’t sure about, or if you are unclear of the corporate politics involved. Creating a network of respected and trusted people you can confide in will help you confidently step into your new management role.
Deep breath, new manager. You can do this!
About the author:
Cathy Huett is Director, Professional Services at The Ken Blanchard Companies. This is the first in a series of posts specifically geared toward new and emerging leaders that will appear on the second Saturday of each month.
Four Ways to Avoid the “Leadership Cliff” in 2013
With just four days left in the year, Americans are eagerly watching and waiting for governmental leaders to reach a budget agreement to avoid the “fiscal cliff” – a series of tax increases and spending reductions that will be triggered in 2013. A failure to find a solution will not just send the U.S. economy off a fiscal cliff, it will represent our political leaders falling off a “leadership cliff” as well.
From my perspective, the most damaging leadership cliff from which leaders fall is that of breaking trust with their followers. Repairing broken trust can be a long and arduous process, and the best way to build trust with others is to not break it in the first place. But how does a leader go about intentionally building trust? There are four ways:
1. Demonstrate competence – Leaders build trust when they are good at what they do, both from a technical perspective as well as from a leadership perspective. Part of being a competent leader is having the knowledge and expertise required for your position. Having the education, skills, and know-how for your job allows others to trust your judgement, and coupled with having a track record of success, lets others open themselves to following your lead. Competent leaders also build trust by having excellent problem-solving and decision-making skills. You may not have all the answers, but knowing how to find the answers builds trust in others. Your people learn to trust in your ability to help them get the resources and information they need to do their job.
2. Act with integrity – The most important element in building trust with people is your integrity. Are you honest? Do you gossip? Do you know your core values, and most importantly, do you live them out? Do you walk the talk? Trusted leaders know that at the end of the day the only thing they have left is their character and integrity…that can never be taken away from you. Treating people ethically and equitably, upholding your values and those of the company, and striving to always do the right thing are paramount concerns for a leader concerned with building trust.
3. Care about others – Perhaps you’ve heard the saying “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” You can be the most technically brilliant leader out there, but if you don’t let your guard down and build relationships, people will hold back from fully trusting you because they aren’t sure of your intentions. Trust-builders demonstrate care and concern for the people they lead, viewing their team members as individuals and not just nameless workers doing a job. Communication is a key component of showing care to others. Sharing information about yourself and the organization, being open to feedback from others, and listening with the intent to be influenced are all good strategies. Trusted leaders focus on building rapport with others and valuing the diversity their staff bring to the team.
4. Maintain reliability – Following through on your commitments is a must-have characteristic for trustworthy leaders. Your dependability is only as good as your systems for being organized, and having an organized approach to your work allows you to follow through on your commitments which is a huge trust-booster. Being reliable also means that you hold yourself and your team members accountable. At its core, being accountable means being responsible. If you say you’re going to do something, do it. If you can’t keep a promise, don’t make it. Dependable people are trustworthy people.
Next year will undoubtedly bring its share of challenges, some of which could cause us to fall off our own leadership cliff. Demonstrating competence, acting with integrity, caring about others, and maintaining reliability will keep you far away from the most treacherous leadership cliff of them all – breaking trust.
Be a trust-builder in 2013!
Randy Conley is the Trust Practice Leader at The Ken Blanchard Companies and his LeaderChat posts appear the last Thursday of every month. For more insights on trust and leadership, visit Randy at his Leading with Trust blog or follow him on Twitter @RandyConley.
Got a new employee? 3 ways to show you care
When I was 16 years old, my first job was serving ice cream at a Baskin-Robbins store. Not only did I love ice cream, but I was very social and felt that this job suited me very well since I loved talking to people. Unfortunately, I think I’m still trying to lose those extra ice cream pounds I put on!
Now, let me be clear that the job of taking ice cream orders really is pretty easy. But imagine being new at the task of scooping rock-hard ice cream into cones without breaking them, or remembering the difference between a shake and a malt—let alone knowing where the heck to find all 31 flavors in the case. It took a bit of time to memorize all of this information. Then imagine the store full of people on a hot day or after a sporting event, and you have mayhem!
One night during that learning period stands out in particular—not necessarily because of the reasons stated above, but more because of how my manager made me feel during one of those crazy, busy times.
A man came into the store with his daughter, a girl I had met before who went to a rival high school. She and I said “hi” as I began to help her dad with his order. He was a very direct sort of guy and started rambling off his order, getting frustrated if I asked him to repeat things along the way. The last item on his list was a quart of French vanilla ice cream.
After making sure he had everything he needed, I went to the cash register to ring up his order. Just as I totaled it up, I realized I had charged him for a quart of regular vanilla ice cream instead of French vanilla, which was more expensive. I immediately called over the manager on duty to help me, since I didn’t know how to delete an order and start over. As she came over, the man started yelling at me and calling me names because I had made a mistake and was taking too long. As I was apologizing to him and doing my best not to cry (although my eyes were not cooperating), my manager did the most amazing thing. She turned to the man and very politely told him that this was my first week on the job, I was still in training, and there is a lot to learn when first starting. She went on to say it was a very innocent mistake and would be taken care of quickly, but there was no need for him to yell at me.
Even though her words didn’t stop my tears from coming, it was so reassuring to hear her stick up for me. I actually felt sorry for his daughter—she was so embarrassed by his obnoxious behavior that she put her head down halfway through his order. As they were leaving, she just walked away with a glance at me as if to say, “I am so sorry!”
A lesson for leaders
What my manager did for me that night, and throughout the rest of my training period there, is a great lesson for all leaders. Without realizing it then, I learned three valuable tips to help leaders build the skills, as well as the confidence, of an employee in training:
1. Never reprimand a learner.
2. Let the employee know it’s okay to make mistakes—that you “have their back.”
3. Praise progress.
My manager showed me she believed in me when she stood up for me at a moment when I really needed it. She knew the importance of both the external customer and the internal customer. Her belief in me and willingness to work with me through that interaction with a difficult customer really strengthened our relationship and made me want to work harder for her.
Maybe the customer isn’t always right, but they still are your customer. My manager was a great role model that night for how to treat both external and internal customers with respect.
About the author:
Kathy Cuff is one of the principal authors—together with Vicki Halsey—of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ Legendary Service training program. Their customer service focused posts appear on the first and third Thursday of each month.
Top Reasons Why Employees Don’t Do What They Are Supposed to Do—as reported by 25,000 managers
Why don’t employees do what they are supposed to do? Former Columbia Graduate School professor and consultant Ferdinand Fournies knows. Over the course of two decades, Fournies interviewed nearly 25,000 managers asking them why, in their experience, direct reports did not accomplish their work as assigned.
Here are the top reasons Fournies heard most often and which he described in his book, Why Employees Don’t Do What They’re Supposed To and What You Can Do About It. As you review the list, consider what you believe might be some of the root causes and solutions for each road block.
In Fournies’ experience, the root cause and solution in each case rests with the individual manager and employee. Fournies believes that managers can minimize the negative impact of each of these potential roadblocks by:
- Getting agreement that a problem exists
- Mutually discussing alternative solutions
- Mutually agreeing on action to be taken to solve the problem
- Following-up to ensure that agreed-upon action has been taken
- Reinforcing any achievement
Are your people doing what they are supposed to be doing?
What’s the level of purpose, alignment, and performance in your organization? Do people have a clear sense of where the organization is going and where their work fits in? Are they committed and passionate about the work? Are they performing at a high level? Take a look at the conversations and relationships happening at the manager-direct report level. If performance is not where it should be, chances are that one of these roadblocks in getting in the way.
PS: You can learn more about Ferdinand Fournies and his two books, Why Employees Don’t Do What They’re Supposed To and What You Can Do About It, and Coaching for Improved Work Performance here at Amazon. Both books are highly recommended for your business bookshelf.
Employees are from Venus, Bosses are from Mars
I’m taking some liberties with the title of John Gray’s mega-selling best-seller, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, but I wanted to share some interesting differences in perceptions between what bosses think they are providing and what employees are experiencing in the workplace.
Ask most bosses what their management style is at work and you’ll hear them talk of a supportive style that features active listening, coaching, and problem solving. From their point of view, they feel that they are very active in providing high levels of direction and support to their people on a regular ongoing basis.
However, ask most employees what type of management style they are experiencing and they will tell you it’s more like concentrated periods of attention at the beginning and end of a cycle (think goal setting and performance review) with long stretches of time in between where they are basically left on their own.
This isn’t a problem if the employee is a self-directed, self-reliant high achiever on a task. For employees with this level of competence, clear goal setting and an occasional check in to evaluate progress may be all they need. But what about employees who are new to a task, developing new skills, or pushing to stretch themselves? For these employees, goal setting and evaluation isn’t enough. They also need direction and support along the way. It doesn’t have to be a lot, but it does have to be present in some degree if you want them to make progress toward goals and feel cared for along the way. Otherwise they can feel alone, abandoned, and on their own.
How are you doing with meeting the needs of your employees? Here are a couple of things you can do this week to open up lines of communication and provide people with the direction and support they need to succeed.
- Talk to them. Set up time this week for a quick one-on-one to discuss where your people are at with their goals and tasks. Even though the context of the conversation is being framed by what they are currently working on and how it is going, be sure to provide some room for them to share obstacles they may be facing and how you can help. Watch for non-verbal signs—especially if you get an “everything’s fine” initial response from them.
- Evaluate their development level with each task. As they discuss each of the tasks they are working on, consider if this is something that is routine for them or a bit of a stretch. If it’s routine, listening and support are all that is necessary. If it’s a stretch, listen even more closely and consider how you can provide additional resources that can speed their progress.
- Repeat on a weekly basis. Close out the meeting by setting up some time to meet again the following week to do it again. Better yet, make it a recurring appointment on your calendar. It doesn’t have to be a lot of time. 15-20 minutes will usually get the job done.
Time matters
Very few employees will tell you that they meet too much with their supervisor to discuss their issues. (Micromanaging to discuss the needs of the manager is another story.) But many will tell you that they haven’t had a discussion with their boss in weeks or months. Sure, time is precious, but it is also the way that we signal interest, importance, and value in what people are working on. Don’t let your relationships at work atrophy. Set up some time to talk with your direct reports today.
Don’t make this leadership mistake. Why leaders need to be always in style
We’ve all been there. Do to some mix-up or poor communication we end up being either over or under dressed for an occasion. You’re wearing something too casual for a formal event (think shorts at a client meeting) or you find yourself wearing formal to a casual event (think a business suit to an after-work event.)
The same thing can happen when it comes to matching your leadership style to the needs of the people you’re leading. In this case, leaders often overdress by over-supervising (providing too much direction and support) or under-dress by delegating (providing too little direction and support) when their help is most needed.
How do you make sure that you’re always in style in both instances? Here are a few tips:
Make sure that you understand the situation. Being in style starts with information. What can you find out about the event that would give you clues to what would be most appropriate? When it comes to clothing choices, ask yourself: Who is going to be there? What is the situation? Where is it being held?
When it comes to leadership style, the same questions, slightly altered, can help in a management situation.
In this case, ask yourself: Who am I meeting with today? What are their specific needs in this situation? Where are they at in terms of competence and commitment for the goal or task? Find out as much as you can about the situation so you can match your style to the needs of the person you are working with.
Develop some flexibility—give yourself some options. Knowing that you need a certain style doesn’t help you if you don’t have that available in your wardrobe. The same is true when it comes to your leadership style. You need a variety of options that you are comfortable wearing. Most leaders play only one note—in essence, they wear the same style regardless of the situation. As a result, they are only in style a portion of the time.
This means that they might be on track when it comes to delivering a high direction style to someone new to a task, but completely off-track when they try using that same style with a highly-experienced, long time employee.
The best leaders have a full wardrobe at their disposal and are comfortable suiting up in a variety of styles to match the occasion.
Double-check that you’re on track. Once you’ve identified what you think is the perfect choice for the situation, be sure to double-check. Ask others, “Here is what I’m thinking would be appropriate in this situation, how does that sound to you?” Watch for a positive response. It might be subtle, so watch carefully. Some visible signs such as a release of tension, return of a confident look, or even a smile will tell you that you are moving in the right direction. If you don’t see that, return to step one—maybe you need some additional information to understand the situation more completely.
Creating a comfortable, natural leadership style takes work. But if you focus on the situation, develop your skills, and work together with people to make the right choices, you’ll find that you can develop an authentic, lasting style that will serve you well in any situation.
