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Managing Your Boss – 3 Keys to Leading Up
I have been very fortunate to work with some fantastic leaders in my career—but not all managers I have worked for have qualified for that title. They may have been my bosses, but they were not effective leaders.
So what do you do when you have a manager who is not providing the leadership you need or deserve? I suggest three key strategies for managing your boss.
Key #1: Manage Yourself First
What? “I thought this was about managing my boss,” you say? It is difficult, if not impossible, to manage others if you’re not managing yourself first. That means being accountable, keeping commitments, supporting other team members, and doing what you can to make a contribution—to add value. The more you are seen as a valued member of the team, the greater influence you will have in managing up.
Key #2: Communicate Regularly
If you don’t do this already, I recommend that you schedule regular one-on-one time with your manager. At least once every two weeks, sit down together for fifteen to thirty minutes and share progress reports, obstacles and concerns you face, and needs you have for direction and support. Start each one-on-one meeting with an update of commitments both you and your manager made during the previous one-on-one.
Key #3: Ask for What You Need
Managers are not all-seeing, all-knowing human beings. Just like everyone else, they are generally horrible guessers when it comes to what others need. Do you need more clarity about a recent assignment? Do you need direction on where to start? Do you need your manager to trust you and give you the autonomy you deserve on this assignment? Then ask. Be clear and specific and ask for what you need. For example: “Hey boss, do you have five minutes to provide some more detail about what you need from me on this assignment?” Or “Hey boss, since this is something I have done before, I would really like to lead this activity.” Most managers are willing to help but wary of micromanaging so they don’t offer. Remember to just ask.
What if Your Boss Refuses to be Managed?
You can be a solid performer with superior communication and people skills and your manager can still choose to be unsupportive, or even worse: A seagull manager. Seagull managers are never around until you make a mistake. Then they fly in, make a lot of noise, dump all over you, and fly away again. If you have done everything you can to get the leadership you need and it is not working, you have two choices: (1) accept it and let it go; or (2) remove yourself from that manager. (See an earlier blog post for more information regarding these options.)
What other strategies do you use to manage your boss with integrity, in a way that builds the relationship? I’d love to read your comments.
About the author:
John Hester is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies who specializes in performance and self-leadership. You can read John’s posts on the second Thursday of each month.
What motivates you at work? Here are six possibilities
In a recent webinar on A Closer Look at the New Science of Motivation, best-selling business author Susan Fowler opened with an interesting question for attendees, “Why are you here?” And it wasn’t just a rhetorical question. Fowler wanted attendees to take a minute and assess what their motivation was for attending. Here’s what she identified as possible answers.
- I am not really here. (Well, maybe my body is, but my mind is elsewhere.)
- I am being paid to be here. (And if I wasn’t being paid—or receiving some other type of reward—I wouldn’t be here.)
- I have to be here; I’d be afraid of what might happen if I wasn’t.
- Being here aligns with my values and will help me and my organization reach important goals.
- Being here resonates with me; I feel it could make an important difference to others in my organization and/or help me fulfill a meaningful purpose.
- I am inherently interested in being here; it is fun for me.
A quick survey found that people were attending for a variety of reasons including all six of the possible choices above. Fowler went on to explain that the first three choices were all “Sub Optimal” motivational outlooks that generated poor results. She also shared that outlooks 4, 5 and 6 were the “Optimal” motivational outlooks that most closely correlated with intentions to perform at a high level, apply discretionary effort, and be a good corporate citizen.
What motivates you?
What’s motivating you on your tasks at work? Is it a “carrot” (External #2) or a “stick” (Imposed #3) approach? If so, what’s the impact been on your motivation and performance? Chances are that you’re not performing at your best. Even worse, you could find yourself feeling somewhat manipulated and controlled, which rarely brings out the best in people.
For better results, think about what it might mean to employ a more Aligned, Integrated, or Inherent approach. Find ways to connect the dots for yourself to create a more intrinsically satisfying strategy.
3 ways to enhance motivation
Fowler suggests beginning by evaluating the quality of A-R-C in your life. Looking back at over 40 years of motivation research, Fowler shared that the answer to creating a more motivating environment is a combination of increased Autonomy (control of your experiences), Relatedness (working together with others), and Competence (developing and refining new skills). The good news is that anyone can change their motivational outlook with some self-awareness and self-regulation.
Could you use a little more motivation in your life? Most of us could. To find out more about Fowler’s thinking on motivation and bringing out the best in yourself and others, be sure to check out Fowler’s free, on-demand webinar recording, A Closer Look at the New Science of Motivation. You’ll discover some of the common mistakes people make when it comes to motivation and what you can do to improve your outlook. Recorded on October 3 for an audience of 700 participants, the download is free, courtesy of Cisco WebEx and The Ken Blanchard Companies.
How to Say “NO” to Your Boss When Appropriate–5 strategies
One of the “rewards” of being a high performer is being asked to do more and more until you discover one day that it is just too much. You are working extra hours just to keep up. Your work and life are suffering and you don’t have time for your family and friends.
It doesn’t have to be this way. A key skill in managing your time (and your boss) is learning to say NO when appropriate. But, how do you say NO, especially to your boss, in a way that maintains the relationship and builds trust?
First, you need to know your commitments. In order to know when to say no, you need to know what’s on your plate. You should have a running list of all your current projects/assignments. Once you see this list of commitments, you can decide whether the new request fits into your schedule, and if it’s of high enough priority to add to your list.
The real secret to saying “NO” is to have a greater “YES” burning within you!
Next, when a request is made, take the time to listen and fully understand what is being asked and why. Then you can decide if the request fits into your schedule and your priorities.
Last, when appropriate, you need to say NO in a respectful way. Here are five strategies:
- Negotiate a later date for completion – “I would be happy to do that task. With all of my other priorities I could complete it by this date.”
- Ask how it fits into your current workload, then negotiate – “I would be happy to do that task. Would you help me see where this fits in with my other priorities?”
- Suggest someone else who might be able to complete the task for you – “I don’t have time for this at the moment. You might check with Pat or Chris.”
- Be polite, yet firm in saying “no” when “no” is your only option – “I’m sorry, I can’t do this right now.”
- Pre-empt the request by keeping people informed regarding your workload and priorities.
Don’t let your work life get to the point where you feel burned out and ready to quit. Take responsibility for creating the work environment that keeps you engaged by learning to say “No” when appropriate.
Remember…
“A ‘No’, uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a ‘Yes’, merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.”
~ Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi
*****
About the author:
John Hester is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies. You can read John’s posts on the second Thursday of every month.
What’s your motivation at work? 3 questions to ask yourself
Want to motivate others? Start by learning how to motivate yourself. That’s the message that best-selling author Susan Fowler highlights in a recent article for Ignite!
In Fowler’s experience, you have to understand your own reasons for performing at a high level before you can help others do the same. Without that understanding, most managers attempting to “motivate” others will resort to imposed or extrinsic techniques that may only make the matter worse—for example, a “carrot” approach which dangles incentives in front of people in exchange for desired behaviors—or a “stick” approach which applies sanctions and negative consequences for undesired behaviors.
A new understanding on what motivates people
Fowler maintains that the reason for our dependence on external rewards to motivate people, especially in the workplace, is not just because they were easy and the “fast food” of motivation, but because we didn’t have alternatives—we didn’t know what truly motivates people.
That’s been changing rapidly the past couple of years as research about intrinsic motivators have begun to make their way into the work environment.
Building on the pioneering work of Edward Deci and Richard Ryan, researchers and practitioners have begun exploring the powerful impact that intrinsic motivators such as Autonomy (being in control of one’s own life), Relatedness (to interact, be connected to, and experience caring for others) and Competence (experience mastery) can have.
For example, researchers at The Ken Blanchard Companies have established that employee perceptions of increased Autonomy, Relatedness, and Competence are positively correlated to intentions to stay with an organization, endorse the organization as a good place to work, and apply discretionary effort in service of the organization’s goals.
As Fowler explains, “The latest science of motivation gives us an entire spectrum of options beyond the carrot and stick. People want or need money and rewards, but when they believe that is what motivates them, they are missing out on much more effective and satisfying motivational experiences.”
How are you motivated?
Wondering how you can apply this latest research into your own work life? Here are three area to explore:
- What’s your motivation? What’s driving your performance on key work goals and tasks—is it in pursuit of rewards, avoidance of punishment, or something more meaningful and personal to you?
- How are your needs for Autonomy, Relatedness, and Competence currently being met? Are you growing and developing skills? Do you get a chance to work together in community with others toward a shared goal?
- What can you do to create a more satisfying work environment for yourself and others? What small step can you take this week to start moving things in the right direction?
Work can—and should be—a motivating experience. Sometimes we forget, or become resigned to, a transactional relationship. It doesn’t have to be that way. Re-examine your beliefs, reframe your experience and rediscover your passion. Break out of carrot and stick thinking. Consider the impact that increased Autonomy, Relatedness, and Competency can have on your life.
PS: You can learn more about Susan Fowler’s approach to motivation in the article Motivation As a Skill. Also be sure to check out a free webinar that Susan is conducting on October 3, A Closer Look at the New Science of Motivation. It’s a free event courtesy of Cisco WebEx and The Ken Blanchard Companies.
You always have a choice—the power of reframing
A friend of mine was bemoaning the fact that he HAD to attend a wedding in Florida with his wife.
He did not want to go but felt he had no choice.
I asked: “What would happen if you CHOSE not to go?” He replied that his wife would be very upset and it would harm their relationship.
Next, I asked: “How do you think your current attitude will impact the quality of your time together at this wedding?” He pondered this for a minute and admitted that he would have a miserable time and that would have a negative impact on his wife’s experience – not too much different than if he stayed home.
Finally, I asked: “Knowing that you really DO have a choice, what would happen if you looked at your options and CHOSE to attend the wedding and make this a great experience for your wife?” He admitted things would probably be better and he made the choice to attend.
When he came back from his trip, I asked him how it went. He hit me in the arm and then said “I hate it when you’re right. We both had a wonderful time.”
Exercise choice
There is power in the words we tell ourselves and others. Think about the last meeting you feel you HAD to attend – you felt like you had no choice. How did you act during that meeting? What was your attitude? What did you get out of the meeting? What would happen if you made the CHOICE to attend instead? You looked at your alternatives – go or not go – and decided it was worth attending. (NOTE: You may want to contact the meeting organizer and have a discussion about your attendance before making a final decision!)
Think about these examples and how reframing your words can impact the quality of your experience:
Instead of Consider
I have to… I choose to…
They made me… I’ve decided to…
It can’t be done… There has to be another way…
As you go through the rest of the week, notice your language and the impact it has on your attitude. See if you can reframe your experience by changing your language. Let me know how it goes.
“Change your language and you change your thoughts.” ~ Karl Albrecht
About the author:
John Hester is a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies. You can read John’s posts on the second Thursday of every month.
Top Reasons Why Employees Don’t Do What They Are Supposed to Do—as reported by 25,000 managers
Why don’t employees do what they are supposed to do? Former Columbia Graduate School professor and consultant Ferdinand Fournies knows. Over the course of two decades, Fournies interviewed nearly 25,000 managers asking them why, in their experience, direct reports did not accomplish their work as assigned.
Here are the top reasons Fournies heard most often and which he described in his book, Why Employees Don’t Do What They’re Supposed To and What You Can Do About It. As you review the list, consider what you believe might be some of the root causes and solutions for each road block.
In Fournies’ experience, the root cause and solution in each case rests with the individual manager and employee. Fournies believes that managers can minimize the negative impact of each of these potential roadblocks by:
- Getting agreement that a problem exists
- Mutually discussing alternative solutions
- Mutually agreeing on action to be taken to solve the problem
- Following-up to ensure that agreed-upon action has been taken
- Reinforcing any achievement
Are your people doing what they are supposed to be doing?
What’s the level of purpose, alignment, and performance in your organization? Do people have a clear sense of where the organization is going and where their work fits in? Are they committed and passionate about the work? Are they performing at a high level? Take a look at the conversations and relationships happening at the manager-direct report level. If performance is not where it should be, chances are that one of these roadblocks in getting in the way.
PS: You can learn more about Ferdinand Fournies and his two books, Why Employees Don’t Do What They’re Supposed To and What You Can Do About It, and Coaching for Improved Work Performance here at Amazon. Both books are highly recommended for your business bookshelf.
Making Choices: 3 ways to take responsibility at work—and one way to avoid it
“It is always my choice: to change what I cannot tolerate, or tolerate what I cannot—or will not—change.” –Melinda M. Marshall
“If only…”—you fill in the blank. It is a frequent comment I hear from clients as they are engaged in our Situational Self Leadership workshops:
- If only my manager would take this training (or would apply it) …
- If only my organization supported this …
- If only I had more time …
- If only …
The first time I hear any sort of “if only” remark in a workshop, I stop and introduce the concept of choice. We all have choices, no matter what our circumstances. The challenge is acting on those choices.
For example, imagine you are feeling oppressed by a micro-manager. (Maybe you don’t need to imagine too hard.) What are your options? I believe Self Leaders—people who proactively take responsibility for getting what they need to succeed at work—look at three options that are always available:
1. Influence. What can you do to influence your manager to provide a leadership style that matches your development level on your goals and tasks? First, communicate your status on a regular basis so your manager doesn’t feel the need to micro-manage. If that does not work, have a direct, respectful conversation where you ask for the leadership style you need.
Remember—in the end, managers have the choice to be influenced or not. That leads to our second option.
2. Accept. Acceptance means we give up the right to moan, groan, or complain to others. Acceptance means “I am willing to let this go – for now.” It does not need to be a permanent choice, but for now, you are willing to accept being micromanaged because you love your work, the people you work with, your paycheck, etc.
A warning: Acceptance of a less-than-tolerable work situation is difficult to sustain, especially for a long period of time. At some point you may try to influence again. If that doesn’t work, you may have to resort to the third option.
3. Remove. No, you cannot remove your manager—all you can remove is yourself. This means you make a choice to leave the team or the organization.
Don’t choose to be stuck
When we refuse to choose from these options, we are actually making another choice: to be stuck. Many people don’t recognize that being stuck is a choice we make, not a circumstance we are put in. It means we are unwilling to pay the price to either influence, accept, or remove. What happens when we are stuck? Not only are we miserable, but we bring everyone around us down with us—our team, our friends, our family.
The foundation of Self Leadership is to take responsibility for our lives and our choices. I encourage each of you to get unstuck and choose your response to your circumstances.
About the author:
This is the first in a series of posts by John Hester, a senior consulting partner with The Ken Blanchard Companies. You can read John’s posts on the first Monday of every month.
